Imperfect And Wonderfully Made

Why is it that when I take time to just do something that doesn't require brain power, I feel guilty about taking that time? Could it be peer pressure and other people's opinions? I remember years ago, I used to play Farmville. Along with playing Farmville, I used to like to look through Facebook to see what my friends were doing in their life's -- and would give my likes, etc. At that time, I had hundreds of Facebook friends. Today, I have 52 friends. The reason why I only have 52 friends now is because the noise of everyone's opinions got too loud for me and started to stress me out rather than relaxing me. I ended up deleting my Facebook for awhile, but then became too disconnected from my close friends in the process who lived elsewhere in the world.  Farmville however was my favorite thing to do after I got off work in the evening hours. This game was such a relaxing game for me. I had two very well maintained farms. I also used to spend money to get the upgraded i...

In business there is a visual grid that describes the levels of functions and importance of each position within that organization — an organizational chart. Whether you realize it or not, as we live our lives, we develop our own charts. Mine is described as follows. I challenge you to think of your life and where each person who has touched your life would be placed. I don't mean any offense to anyone who may see where they are placed on my perceived chart -- it's just as I see it. A lot has to do with how often each person directly affects my life on a daily, monthly, yearly basis. This is the first time I've shared this organizational chart concept with anyone. First and foremost, the Godhead is at the top of my chart. Then I have what I call my core ten. This includes myself, my companion, my four children, their spouses and my grandchildren.(Family dogs included.) Then I have my sub-core ten. This includes my sister and her family, my nephews and their families. The in...

Because the holidays are here, I've been enjoying the company of family that I don't usually get the opportunity to see as often as I would like. My first visit was with my nephew and his beautiful wife. They had a couple's weekend in San Francisco and then made a detour to come see their Auntie Cindy. I love that my adult nephews and nieces call me Auntie. So in their visit, I got the opportunity to ask my nephew to play some music and sing for me. He is the son to my late brother who passed down his musical genius to him. My nephew writes songs and plays the guitar just like my brother. He plays the piano as well and shared his playing improvising methods with me. He also sings. He has a very pretty voice along with his ability to play instruments. So initially when I heard his guitar playing, it totally made me emotional, because he strums and picks the guitar just like my brother and it just brought back a flood of memories of when my brother and I used to sing and play...

Don't we all just love seeing a beautiful rainbow stretching across the sky after the rain? The rainbow usually stops anyone in their tracks because it just is such a wonderful sight to behold. I find it fascinating to see a whole group of people looking up into the sky and expressing their delight in seeing it. I'll never forget the day that we buried my Godfather and a rainbow expanded above the Riverside National Cemetery -- many times now, a rainbow not only reminds me of God's promise, but also my Godfather. I love and miss him very much. Because I am a Christian, I have read that the rainbow was provided as a sign and a promise (covenant) to man after God destroyed all humanity and living creatures on the earth, with the exception of those humans and creatures that were provided safety by an ark that Noah built. The promise was between God and man that He would never again destroy all life on earth with a flood. For the LGBTQ+ community the rainbow represents a symbol...

I’ve been doing a study in 1 Peter, actually I’ve been doing Bible studies for a long time now. But 1 Peter spoke to me louder than usual. Before I study, my prayer is always for God to give me wisdom and understanding. For many years when I would read the Bible, it was very hard for me to comprehend. I so admire people who have keen reading comprehension. I’m always impressed in group studies when people share what they got out of the lesson. Sometimes I’m amazed at the depth of their knowledge. I remember when at the family table or sitting around in the living room sometimes our discussions would be about different areas of the Bible. My Mom studies the Bible hard, in fact, her Bible is so worn and tattered, some of the pages look translucent. My contributions to the conversations were pretty basic, however my brother who later became a pastor and my Mom used Christianese I was not at all familiar with. Many times they would end up debating on interpretation of the subject they were...

 This topic came to my mind today as for about two to three months now I've taken my companion to many doctor appointments to have several tests run.  He has some challenges due to an accident he suffered when he was just 14 years old. When we met a few years back, he was living a pretty reclusive and simple life. As our relationship developed, I started asking him questions regarding his health and how often he went to his doctors. He was consistent in seeing a couple doctors, but hadn't really been keeping up with the routine appointments that happen as you start aging. So as his companion and caregiver, I set up all these appointments to address several health areas that needed to be addressed. Being in the Bay Area, getting appointments timely isn't as hard as getting them in Southern California. I know this because I have family who still reside in Southern California and I don't know how they can endure the time delays for many things having to do with maintenance...

I'm learning that most of my ideas for my blogs come to me as I am in between a nap and waking up. Today as I lay there listening to beautiful instrumental worship music in the comfort of my home, all these images of people on the streets going without jolted me awake. Then my mind just kept wandering and thinking, what have I done to make life better even for just one person who has far less than I do? I understand that I can't save everyone and get them out of their situations, but maybe I can do something and to extend some form of kindness if only for a moment, if only for a day. I started thinking about all the abundance that I have in my houses -- yes houses. I'm starting to feel like those people who just accumulate to accumulate. In the meanwhile, there are people who would give anything to have just one of my oversized coats that I don't wear anymore or haven't worn for ages. I also started to think how fortunate I am to just have shelves full of blankets. ...

I remember as I was raising my children, I was the primary wage earner. It was my responsibility to assure that all financial daily living expenses were met. I always made sure all the bills were paid on a timely basis. I will admit, there was a time when I was living in debt -- which is no way to live at all. When you live in debt, you are a slave to stuff you can't afford and it gets exhausting. I won't even begin to explain how getting in debt happened for me, but it happened. Thank God today, for the most part outside of my mortgage and one car payment, I am debt free. So when the holidays would come around once a year, I dreaded them. The reason is because I had to figure out how to balance out enough extra money in order to be able to participate in the holiday gift exchanges. My BFF explained to me that her rule was, at the time, to buy them something they need or can wear, buy a toy and a book or movie. Then for the full on family get togethers, do a name drawing rather...

  For years, I've had this beautiful postcard depicting Jesus holding a black lamb. From the first day I laid my eyes on it -- it encompassed my life. If you can imagine, I never thought to flip the postcard over to see who the artist was that created this beautiful piece. His name is Nathan Greene and the painting is "Lamb of God". I've just always thought it is one of the most beautiful pieces I have seen. I've placed the postcard in a prominent place in my homes where I can gaze upon it and be reminded daily of how Jesus has me in the safety and protection of His arms. On the back of this postcard also included a website -- a website where larger prints, etc. can be purchased. Who knew? So I ordered a 16 x 20 inch print that when I receive it will be framed and hung up again where I can enjoy its beauty and concept. One of the main things I love about this piece is that Jesus is dark skinned -- more like the middle eastern tone he should be depicted as. Also, I...

  Today I woke up to the sun as the clouds separated after they poured some rains on the ground sometime through the night or dark morning hours. Always when I open my eyes in the morning, I thank God for another day. As I’ve gotten older, my body is a reminder that I’m alive as I work out my aches by moving about after resting through the night. But isn’t it wonderful when you are given another day? I immediately opened my Harvest Discipleship application to start my day with devotion and several words of encouragement from other individuals who visit this site. I saw an email from one of my favorite inspirational authors — Jennifer Dukes Lee. She was talking about her new book that is coming out in April “How To Love Your Morning”. As I was reading through some of the quotes she was sharing, she reminded me about how wonderful it is to start anew. Needless to say, I preordered a copy. She inspired my blog today!!! Last night I had some really bizarre dreams and was glad to be bro...

For the past two days my companion and I had to prepare for a procedure he needed to have today as a routine when you get older. He actually should have had it ten years ago, but he was a recluse who didn't think much of his health unless he had something active going on -- an acute illness of sorts. So since we met over three years ago,  I've been very proactive in making sure that we catch up with medical exams he should have been monitoring for himself. I just wanted him to have assurance and have a measuring stick to keep things that need to be monitored to have a starting place. He had the scoping of his esophagus and upper digestive system along with his lower digestive system. There were some things that were found in the procedure that we are waiting to hear the results about after more tests are completed. So in a matter of only a couple of months, we have seen a neurologist, cardiologist, gastroenterologist, pulmonary specialist, plus his primary physician who is actu...

I remember I read a poem years ago that had to do with the last times you would do something as your children grew up.  Well today as I was waking up from my old lady nap, there was a beautiful piano piece playing on my google dot and it reminded me of some of the last times. I started reflecting on last times. As we are raising your children, we are so consumed by doing everything we can for them in order to make sure they have the best of childhoods and great beginnings in life. My first son pretty much set his own milestones because he was advanced and had a mind of his own. I remember at just six months old, he did not want to drink out of a bottle -- he preferred those Tupperware sippy cups. I think the bottle was too time consuming for him. But I do remember as a Mom of a baby, I enjoyed that special time with all my babies as I held them and rocked them as they drank their little bottles. The memories of them gazing up at you with such intense love in their eyes. I alwa...

I had gone down to check on my wash just a little while ago and I saw an UB on the display and my wash had stopped, so I thought to myself what could this possibly mean, so I looked at the acronym on the display and figured out that it was unbalanced. I had tried to wash two blankets and two small throw pillows. I thought, I've put enormous loads in the high capacity washer before and not once did the washer become unbalanced. It just didn't make sense to me. So I proceeded to take the two sopping wet throw pillows out of the center and put them in the sink -- I figured I would dry those out separately after the two blankets spun though the spin cycle to pull all the water out of them. I had to spread the blankets out evenly throughout the washer bin in order to get the drum from spinning unevenly. This whole process made no sense to me at all. I wondered to myself how all my high capacity loads had gone through the process. Maybe because the clothes were smaller in size and co...

Since 2019, I really took seriously that I needed to lose the weight that I had been burdened with since my early 30's. I remember the first time I started gaining weight was my first year of college. I used to weigh about 100lbs. I thought I was getting obese when I gained 15lbs. my first year in college. Understand I'm only 5'.5", so my little frame really couldn't carry much weight -- or so I thought. I actually weighed up to 228lbs. several years after having my twins at the age of 38 years old. Part of my issue was definitely food insecurity, but I also had a hypothyroid and Hashimoto's Disease. However in 2019, I started to exercise and make wiser food choices. I was successful in getting myself down to 167lbs, which for me is not skinny at all, but is healthy. For over a period of four years, because of my dietary lifestyle changes, I have not been pre diabetic or diabetic since. However, because I started to gain 10-15lbs. back, my doctor said because I...

For many, many years, I never felt that Proverbs 31 pertained to me, because of my numerous divorces. Then one day while attending church, we read through the chapter of Proverbs 31 and then the blinders that caused me to feel unworthy of this chapter were removed from my eyes. I call this method of realization Holy Spirit power. Initially, the first time I got married, even though the circumstances that I chose to get married were less than what I would think is considered a wise choice of marriage. I had accepted that I had made the choice and I would try to be as good a wife as I possibly could be. Then one month after a few months of being married, I skipped a cycle in my monthly lady stuff. The reaction of my then husband was the worst reaction I had ever encountered by him. He told me, how could you let this happen? I told him how he also had played a part in this event. He did not want to accept responsibility for it and told me that if I came up with a positive pregnancy test t...