Imperfect And Wonderfully Made

Sometimes remaining optimistic can be a challenge. For the most part, I do my best to remain optimistic, but there are those times when it just really is too challenging. I will readily admit it, the thing that affects me most toward losing my optimistic attitude is another person who I allow to affect it. Most days I don’t mind being a servant. I’ve pretty much resolved that this is my role for the most part in this life. So I’ve learned to suck it up most of the time and just do what I can for others who may directly impact my life or indirectly through providing a service to another person who is not usually a part of my life. I mean being kind to strangers is what life should be all about, right? I didn’t quite get this one right today. But then there are those days when someone just pushes that envelope a little too far over your boundaries of remaining positive and optimistic. This is so clear to me today, because I had an incident. I had some groceries delivered rather than goin...

I remember when I was young I used to think of the years we are currently living through and thinking how far in the future the years seemed. I would often question whether the world would continue to exist or if I would still be alive. Here I am still alive in these years!! It’s crazy. What’s more crazy is how we are just a little over two days and 2026 will be here!! Since I was a very young girl, I always would contemplate what my future would be like. I was raised as a Christian, so I was very prayerful. I remember when I would think about getting married, I would pray that God would send me someone. Then I would pray for my future children. I would ask God if I were blessed to have children that I would live long enough to see them become adults. Well, I can honestly say that God has blessed me beyond those prayers and I’m now blessed with two grandchildren who I’m seeing entering into their preteens and teen years. My grandparents on both sides of my parents passed away by the ti...

For the first time in 42 years, I won’t be surrounded by my children on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day due to the inclement weather we are experiencing here in California. However, Lord willing, I will be able to make my way down south with my companion on Friday when the forecast is looking lighter for travel. I’m hoping the roads will be cleared of water build up by then. Although I won’t be surrounded by my children, the Lord has blessed me with a companion, so I got a little ham I’ll be preparing for Christmas Day so we can have a small celebration together before venturing out the following morning. As a mother, I can’t help but reflect that today on Christmas Eve (or how it is symbolically celebrated), Mary was probably in her early stages of labor and I’m sure very nervous about the miraculous event that was about to transpire in not only her own life, but for and in the lives of everyone who has been bestowed life on this earth. She was about to give the us the greatest gift of...

One thing I love about attending a church online on a weekly basis is that it always gives me food for thought. Today, Pastor Jonathan was speaking about the birth of Jesus (Luke 2) as I would think every pastor this week is speaking about, since it should be what is the forefront of this holiday season. Can you believe Christmas is only a few days away? More shocking is how fast this year has gone and soon it will be 2026!!! He was right when he pointed out that Christmas tends to bring forth memories of the sad circumstances in life, whether you are grieving, lacking in finances, estranged from family or friends, maybe recently separated or going through a divorce, etc.  Because of the memories we have shared maybe throughout the years, we can focus on the things we don’t have anymore or have not yet entered a phase in our lives when we have them. There are the single people or those who are just beginning to experience life. There are the couples who have not yet been able to ex...

This past Sunday as I was listening to Pastor Greg Laurie’s sermon, he spoke about finishing the life race well. So it started me reflecting how I would think it would be everyone’s desire to finish the life race well and feeling like their life had a purpose and that they left behind a legacy to be remembered by those closest to them. I think that is why when I leave this world after finishing my dash, I don’t want a memorial service and people saying nice things about me. I’d rather just be a memory in their thoughts. Oh yeah, I remember Cindy — she was this or that — they can be honest. But for the most part, I hope they will reflect on whatever good they saw — the Christ in me. I know I am far from perfect. I still let inappropriate words project from my mouth (I’m constantly asking for forgiveness on this one.) It is so much better than it used to be. I’ve shared in a previous blog how my nasty little potty mouth was my defense mechanism to defend myself from bullying. I was knee ...

For the better part of the afternoon, I had the privilege of chatting with my daughter via text. She had an accident with falling that caused her to be placed in a boot for a bad sprain and was put off work for a week. I really think she needed the rest for many reasons. Today was a great afternoon just chatting about many things that came to mind. She had taken a picture of her family and what they were doing, so I decided to show her what my view looked like as I sat quietly looking at my Christmas Tree in the den. I guess it sparked a memory in her mind and she shared with me how my homes always look like the home she is used to living in with me. She reminisced about how all my homes I move into that I decorate it to look consistent to all the homes we have lived in. She meant that as a compliment. She remembers that I always had candles or scents plugged in to make the house always smell nice. I told her I intentionally decorated that way, because no matter where God places me in ...

Today I was watching one of those Hallmark Christmas movies only this one was on UpTV. It was about a woman who had been given an hourglass necklace that could take her back in time in order to do a do over when it came to making her lifelong commitment to two potential romances. One of the romances was from her past and like everything, circumstances and decisions made during their time altered the way they had intended their lives to go as a couple together. Career decisions took them onto different paths in their lives. You could probably guess what choice she ended up making by the end of the movie. I brought to my mind how life is very consistent to be inconsistent. When you think your life is headed in one direction, it usually takes another direction — it could be organic circumstances or choices you have actually made to change the direction of where life was moving you. I mean, I know I have thought to myself, what if I could do a do over — what would I have done differently? ...

This morning I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning and I first prayed and thanked God for another day. I said some prayers for a couple people that I knew needed some comfort today. Then, I started scrolling through Facebook. One of the first things I ran across is this reel of a woman talking to her sister about when she selects her significant other. She was telling her that making a selection wasn’t all about the physical aspect of the person. Her husband was sitting there enjoying his breakfast and minding his own business, when she started to tell her sister how when she selected her husband it was definitely not about his looks. She told her sister that it wasn’t like he was ugly, ugly but that his looks didn’t matter to her. You could see the hurt in his eyes as she continued talking about how she selected her husband. A couple times he tried to interject and tell her that he was sitting right there and hearing her say these mean things about him to her sister. The conv...

In all my years that I have lived, I could never imagine how my life would turn out. I guess that is the mystery that is not intended to be known to us as we live moment by moment. As a young girl, I could have never imagined that in my old age that I would become a person who would never want again. For most of my life, I was always living on the edge financially. Sometimes there wasn’t enough and I would have to do what I called creative financing to make things happen for my family. I was always so grateful that by the time I turned 31, I was provided with a wonderful career that would bring in enough financial stability to provide a comfortable middle class lifestyle for my children and households. I was always able to rent or purchase homes that had enough rooms to house all the members of my family who lived with me. I also was blessed that I was able to buy and trade in vehicles in order to always have reliable transportation. Yes, there were times when things got tight and I co...

  In Christmasses past, I didn't always enjoy the festive holiday. In a past post I wrote why Christmas wasn't my favorite holiday for the longest time. This year, my family made plans for us to meet in the Central Valley. My eldest son and his husband invited my companion and I to stay in an Airbnb that they had rented out for over a week prior to Christmas. So because we will be able to spend the holidays together, I decided that I would host the morning Christmas brunch at my Los Banos home. I thought for this reason that I wouldn't go all out decorating our home in Mill Valley for the holidays, since we wouldn't be here. However, after thinking about it and how much I really do enjoy the holidays, I ended up decorating three trees in the Mill Valley house (one in the den, the dining room and the living room). Because we wouldn't be here, I did not put up the 12ft tree I had bought last year for the home, because it is a lot of work for short little me. I actuall...

Today I came home to my Los Banos home to decorate for the Christmas holiday. My eldest son reserved an Airbnb near our family home and invited me and my companion to spend three days with him and his husband (actually for longer, but my companion is easing into this new family dynamic). I was glad to accept the invitation. They travel to Central California because my son in love's family also lives near Los Banos. It used to be when I was full time here in Central California, they used to split the holidays between our two families. So, since I'll be this way to visit my sons, I figured I would host our Christmas Brunch at the Los Banos Family Home. I actually love when I can do that now, because it makes it easier for everyone who is traveling for the holidays to have a central location rather than everyone having to drive eight or more hours to get to the Bay Area where I also share a home with my companion. So tonight, my youngest son asked me what I wanted for dinner. Beca...

As I was thinking about my post topic today, I started to hesitate because it is an area that I've struggled with in my life. In fact, I think because I didn't really pay much attention to the difference between lust and love, my inattentiveness and lack of knowledge may have been why many of my relationships didn't work out the way I thought they should or would. So to begin with, let's just define the two words: Lust:   Having a very strong sexual desire for someone.  It is often selfish, craving for gratification, it can override reason and disrespect others.   Love:  An intense feeling of deep affection, a great interest and pleasure in something. It is a complex emotion experienced and defined differently by each person, but common themes include a deep affection and care for another, a desire for their well-being, and actions that demonstrate this commitment. Key components often include intimacy, passion, commitment, respect, trust and fondness. Always as a te...

I am a California Native since 1960 and I can remember as young as elementary school, always hearing about the big earthquake that will be taking the edge or all of California off the map.  As I was growing up and the earth would shake beneath me, I would always start praying and asking God if this was the "Big One".  Every single time, I would think to myself that this could be the day. Again, the media is grasping on to this concept because of the recent cluster earthquakes we have been experiencing in the North and South. I can't help but think, like myself as a child, that there are children hearing this stuff on the internet and tv and they are terrified. My daughter recently called me after experiencing an earthquake and how her children were terrified. All they had to do was come out of their room and see their Mom and her presence calmed them knowing she would do anything to protect them. As an adult experiencing the earth moving, I quite often think how no matter...