Relationship With Food

Since 2019, I really took seriously that I needed to lose the weight that I had been burdened with since my early 30's. I remember the first time I started gaining weight was my first year of college. I used to weigh about 100lbs. I thought I was getting obese when I gained 15lbs. my first year in college. Understand I'm only 5'.5", so my little frame really couldn't carry much weight -- or so I thought. I actually weighed up to 228lbs. several years after having my twins at the age of 38 years old. Part of my issue was definitely food insecurity, but I also had a hypothyroid and Hashimoto's Disease. However in 2019, I started to exercise and make wiser food choices. I was successful in getting myself down to 167lbs, which for me is not skinny at all, but is healthy. For over a period of four years, because of my dietary lifestyle changes, I have not been pre diabetic or diabetic since. However, because I started to gain 10-15lbs. back, my doctor said because I have the propensity to become diabetic due to weight, he approved putting me on Ozempic. I know because of this miracle drug that I now fluctuate between 175-177 lbs. I'm sure if I exercised 5 days a week like I did when I was 167 lbs., I'd be 8 to 10lbs. less. I definitely am more active than I used to be, but now I have a horrible case of full body arthritis which prohibits me to exercise like I used to.

My relationship with food now is very different than it used to be. Because of the Ozempic, I get fuller much faster. There are times when I just don't want food at all. Now, working up an appetite and deciding what I want to consume is difficult for me. Because I tend to go deficient with my vitamins, I need to be aware of when I am not consuming enough nutrients or calories. When I first started Ozempic two years ago, I quit eating salad, because it made me nauseated. I used to love salads, you know the kind that had everything, but the kitchen sink in them. Salad was my go to when I first started to lose weight. Because I had very low Magnesium, I've had to force myself to eat more greens -- inclusive and incorporating salads back into my meals. I'm finding that I really need to be hungry in order to consume protein now (chicken, beef, fish, pork). My meal preferences are now meals without little to no meat. Even cheese gets a little difficult to consume.

Once in a while, I'll really crave a dessert, but my preference for dessert is now frozen yogurt. I don't really like the heavy cream ice creams anymore. I prefer popsicles and sorbet now. I do like cold fruit as well. Sometimes, I prefer an apple with peanut butter and raisins for dinner. Because of my eating habits, my companion has also lost weight -- HE LOVES FOOD -- which at times is hard for me because I'm his food preparer and sometimes, I just hate the smell of cooking something for him, but he is reliant on my "cooking" skills. But he has gone from 230 lbs. to 201 lbs. in a year, which has been a positive things as his cholesterol, etc. is within normal ranges as well. Woot, woot!!

So the holidays are coming. For the past couple years when I've hosted our family gatherings, I make sure that I sent all the leftovers home with my children. I do not like having the leftovers in my house. There was a time, I loved leftovers, but I just don't want to look at them. Looking at a bunch of food all at once, also makes me a bit nauseated. I've notice that my pantry doesn't empty like it used to. Quite frequently, I have to go through it and disperse "junk food" to my twin boys, who are glad to take it off my hands. My companion will quite often see something he wants, I buy it and he never eats it.  Currently, I have full sized candy bars in my pantry, which are waiting for Thanksgiving when my sons come up. Stuff will be going home with them!!  It's not that I don't consume candy, but I prefer if I'm going to be eating something sweet, it should have some kind of protein value. I will consume small single bit candies like sugar free mints and caramels, but you won't see a lot of candy around my house anymore. I'll buy a small slice of cake and my companion and I split it and then I'm satisfied for quite awhile.

So back to Thanksgiving -- since I'll be hosting this year the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I'm wanting to modify my cooking methods this year. I've gotten some pretty amazing ideas off the internet. I decided instead of baking a whole big turkey like usual, I'm only going to bake turkey breasts. I'll still flavor it the same as the full sized turkey. Also, I saw that instead of making a big bowl of high carb stuffing, I'm going to do some stuffing balls that are baked and then drizzled with gravy. I'll still have the sides -- but I'm going to use fresher and cleaner methods for preparing them. Probably the most processed food will be the green bean casserole -- this is an absolute favorite of one of my sons -- you know the one with the mushroom soup and crispy fried onions. I'll make mashed potatoes and then have a wonderful relish tray of fresh veggies and olives. I also want to try some Portuguese Fava beans for my son in love this year. I'm also going to try and find Portuguese bread instead of the usual dinner rolls. Instead of having the usual dessert pie choices, I'm going to stick to pumpkin pie to be topped with whipped cream (I want to try and find individual small pumpkin tarts from a bakery). See's candy had small foil chocolate turkeys this year, so I got one for each place setting. This year there will only be six of us for Thanksgiving.

Christmas has become easier for myself. Instead of what used to be the Christmas Dinner -- I now host a Christmas brunch, I'm able to serve several small selections of different food and fruits that are breakfast type food and for the most part lower caloric with proteins. Always the tradition in my family has been to have shortbread iced cookies that several of the family members decorate. There was a time, when there was so much traditional preparation, it was exhausting. We used to make fudge and rum balls, along with the cookies. I have to be honest, even just writing this blog has my stomach turning a little. My relationship with food is so much more different than it used to be.

My companion and I prefer to order delicious meals that are pre proportioned by restaurants. Many times, we will split an entree, so we won't be left with leftovers. If we have leftovers, I usually will modify the leftover into a new meal for us. I also have pantry and freezer foods that I can easily prepare in lieu of ordering in -- however, our preference is to order to keep the leftovers minimal. When I cook, I've tried to keep the dishes small, but there usually are too many leftovers that just go to waste.

One of the things my companion has offered is to have our Thanksgiving catered, however, there are just some flavors that won't be the same, so I'm still hanging on to that one. My hope is that one day, my children will just say they will be preparing the meal one of these years. I've been cooking Thanksgiving and Christmas meals since my early 20's. In my last 24 year marriage, my ex-husband loved to cook, so he would prepare the bulk of the meals, but I would also assist and prepare the sides -- plus the set up and decor according to holiday -- oh yes, and the clean up!! (Who likes clean up? -- I definitely don't!!) I used to set out china and the whole nine yards -- not anymore -- we have such a lovely options and selection of plastic and paper products to make the table look so festive for each holiday event. I prefer consuming my time on family conversations!! To me that is the best part of the holiday season.

The holidays for me now are extra special, because my companion for many years did not celebrate these holidays with his family and friends. For many years, he was quite the recluse. I get such joy seeing his eyes light up when I decorate our homes. Fortunately for my grown children and myself, we have developed many holiday traditions throughout the years and incorporate many still into our holidays today. 

One thing I can assure this year, as I did last year is that I certainly won't be consuming to excess like I used to -- thus, I don't see that extreme fluctuation in weight during the holidays like I used to experience like I did in past years.