Sometimes Things Just Hurt

One thing I love about attending a church online on a weekly basis is that it always gives me food for thought. Today, Pastor Jonathan was speaking about the birth of Jesus (Luke 2) as I would think every pastor this week is speaking about, since it should be what is the forefront of this holiday season. Can you believe Christmas is only a few days away? More shocking is how fast this year has gone and soon it will be 2026!!!

He was right when he pointed out that Christmas tends to bring forth memories of the sad circumstances in life, whether you are grieving, lacking in finances, estranged from family or friends, maybe recently separated or going through a divorce, etc.  Because of the memories we have shared maybe throughout the years, we can focus on the things we don’t have anymore or have not yet entered a phase in our lives when we have them. There are the single people or those who are just beginning to experience life. There are the couples who have not yet been able to expand their family base through having a child of their own. As we know, this might be an area of struggle for some couples — so Christmastime seems to just bring the lack of some of these missing experiences forward in our minds.

I’ve had Christmases that were sad instead of the joyful Fa La La that is always portrayed during the season. There is something about the music, the food, the gatherings that tend to remind us of what we are lacking. In fact, I have read that at Christmastime there is a high rate of people who bring self harm to themselves because they just can’t cope with whatever expectations they think they have not achieved and they must focus on that rather than the day after the holidays are gone. I know that when I’ve gotten in a sad way during the holidays, I endure by knowing that it is the holiday that is bringing me the sadness and that if I can just get through the tough days, there will be a day after that — a day when things become bearable again. Now that I am 65 years old, I look forward to the holidays. As a Christian it is a time for me to reflect on the birth of Christ and the gathering of family or that my family is happily celebrating elsewhere and are very blessed.

This year, my companion and I will be traveling for the actual Christmas Day (to share with some of my children), so I had even thought of not decorating our home, but then I thought that was silly, since I had several days before and after to enjoy the decorations — so I ended up decorating for my companion and I. It actually worked out really well, because I ended up having company after Thanksgiving and my house was already filled with Christmas decorations.

I remember one year when my Mom was a single parent (in the 60’s) and didn’t have a lot of money for gifts and definitely not enough for a Christmas Tree. So in her adventures, one day she comes walking in with a tumbleweed and decorated it for us like a Christmas Tree. When she was finished, it was so beautiful. She had put angel hair that she had accumulated from a previous Christmas all around it and then added colorful lights, then decorated it with ornaments and a star on top. And you know what? I don’t even remember the presents under the tree, which I’m sure were few, but I do remember how pretty our tumbleweed looked that year. My Mom has always been a creative and at times very resourceful.

Recently, I’ve even been thinking how I’ve gotten to an age where I can understand that Christmas isn’t all about me. One of my primary focuses was that I needed was to surround myself with my children. As much as I love them and consider it an honor to be surrounded by them, I’ve also come to the realization that I’m reaching a point in my life where I need to accept that my grown children are now developing their own traditions and I want to support that. I also have enough stuff in my life that I really don’t need the presents anymore or the added calories consumed by eating things I shouldn’t.  (I never thought I wouldn’t need stuff.) I don’t want to be that parent that guilts them into having to spend time with me. I was sharing with my companion that since life is changing for me that maybe we need to focus on how we can make the holidays joyous for ourselves and let my children do what they want for Christmas, etc. There are many other days outside of Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter etc. that we can spend together and enjoy that day just as much as the holidays. My children know that if they want to spend the holiday with me, that my door and hospitality is always open to them.

So originally when I started this post, I was talking about those who may be hurting because of the holiday season. I know I have some friends who have lost loved ones this past year. I’m sure you know of some of the situations I have spoken about above. I think during this season, we should probably be more aware to those who have been put in our lives and may be going through some of the seasons. Maybe make an attempt to include them somehow or extend kindness their way. Even just sending them a card or token to let them know that you see them. This year, I’ve been trying to be aware of those around me and making sure I touch base with them.

So Pastor Jonathan gave a wonderful verse today Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” For me, this verse brought me comfort, because even when we may be experiencing hurt and feel hopeless, that God is always near. And in all my experience and life living, when I’ve had my down and out times, if you can just persevere through what ever season you may be in for the moment, tomorrow eventually comes where things do tend to look brighter for the most part. There may even come a time, like myself, where that memory is one that is in the past and you thank God everyday for bringing you through it to the other side where you experience hope, once again.

I shared this in a previous post that Christmas should be about the presence of those who surround us rather than the presents. (Cliche I know, but really is true.)

And always remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!!