How Things Turn Out As You Get Older

In all my years that I have lived, I could never imagine how my life would turn out. I guess that is the mystery that is not intended to be known to us as we live moment by moment. As a young girl, I could have never imagined that in my old age that I would become a person who would never want again. For most of my life, I was always living on the edge financially. Sometimes there wasn’t enough and I would have to do what I called creative financing to make things happen for my family. I was always so grateful that by the time I turned 31, I was provided with a wonderful career that would bring in enough financial stability to provide a comfortable middle class lifestyle for my children and households. I was always able to rent or purchase homes that had enough rooms to house all the members of my family who lived with me. I also was blessed that I was able to buy and trade in vehicles in order to always have reliable transportation.

Yes, there were times when things got tight and I couldn’t just be frivolous in my spending. But, I remember there were times when I didn’t have to worry when I would spend $1,000 at Costco. I knew I could meet all my financial obligations. For the luxuries in life, like a timeshare, I would have to save and plan. The same went for vacations and holidays. My lifestyle was never excessive. My children were able to have the things they wanted when it came to picking out their gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

The only times that I really struggled financially were when I would allow men into my finances and life. It’s easy to control my own spending, but when you allow men into your life who you think you can trust to keep track of their spending and then they don’t, there’s where the debt and challenges came into my life. I can’t even begin to count the many times I have had to regain financial stability after entrusting another person making financial decisions. I always say that men were definitely my financial demise.

I’ve always had what I call a generous hand. I’ve always contributed to organizations that help other people with needs. I’ve always made sure that when I can, I donate what I can to those who have a need for something I could provide, outside my own family’s needs. I also provide contributions to my favorite church in order to support them providing resources for bringing individuals to Christ and extending their ministry throughout the world.

I can now honestly say that God has blessed me abundantly beyond what I could have ever imagined. I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t have to worry about how my bills are going to be paid. I have a companion who makes sure that I have everything I need or things that I don’t need. The other day, my generation 7 iPad failed to function — it was evaluated and my hardware system failed. So, I was going to be content with just having it replaced with my Apple Care, however, my companion told me to upgrade it. So, I was looking at an 11 inch iPad Pro, but then he told the sales person to give me an iPad with the largest screen. My companion kept walking around looking at accessories and he insisted that I have a cover, a keyboard/cover attachment and a mouse to go with my newly purchased iPad. I am currently typing on said technology that he bought for me. I’ve never had someone who insisted that I have the best in Apple technology. So now, I have all the latest and greatest technology gadgets that Apple has to offer. My phone, watch, computer and now tablet are all Apple products. Some of the technology I’ve purchased myself — but my companion was very supportive and instrumental in making sure I had the latest technology as he knows I use it on a daily basis, whether for my blog, social media surfing or Bible Studies and reading. There have been many other generous gifts he has bestowed upon me. Even the home that we share is too much, but it’s what he loves and wanted us to be able to enjoy together.

I recently had a conversation with a some of my grown children that it really isn’t necessary for them to spend their money on me anymore for gifts as I honestly have everything that I’ve ever wanted. The only thing I would appreciate from them are experiences and having their presence rather than their presents. I thought I would never say that — in fact, now I’m always asking them what I can provide to them. It’s a nice feeling to not have financial stress. Prior to meeting my companion, I had also gotten to a place in my retirement, where I was able to provide financial stability for my household (I still maintain it from a distance for my youngest children). Along with all these tangible blessings, I also have a nice savings account, which I had not had for years. I can actually remember in 1996 was the last time I could remember being able to save — after that I wasn’t able to save like I can now.

Now that I’ve experienced debt for myself, I can’t emphasize enough to younger generations to not get caught up in the credit card debt and to be sure to set aside money for emergencies rather than relying on credit. It’s such a vicious cycle to get caught up in and it seems like you are never going to recover, until you do and as a result learn a bitter lesson by it. One lesson I was able to learn is that a person can survive living on less by reducing living expenses and pulling back on the number of hours you work in order to make ends meet. I say this because I had a goal of retiring at 55 years old and I was able to do so, because I downsized our living lifestyle — you really don’t need that big house or top of the line vehicle. It’s hard being a prisoner of your possessions. Now that I’ve raised my children, I often think of how much time I didn’t get to enjoy raising them because I was too busy working. It is my opinion that if a mother or father are able to stay home and raise their children and only one of them works, what a blessing that would be. You know there was a time, when that was the norm.

I know it is so much harder to live financially independent in these times, because of  inflation. I’ve told my Gen Z children that they should consider sharing a home (which is a family home we are buying) in order to stay above the financial waters and have a low mortgage payment. I’m hoping by the time Jesus calls me home that the home they live in will mostly be paid off. I had some wonderful mentors in my Aunts and Uncles who were able to leave their children homes that were paid for in an effort to save them from having to pay mortgages. That was some smart planning on their part. There was a time when families all lived together in one or more houses on a homestead situation.

I think I’ve exhausted this topic for today. It was just something I had thought about sharing as I was reflecting where I was as a very poor child to now a very blessed older woman. I’m not naive and I know that not everyone who ages is as blessed as I have been.