I Want To Finish My Race Well

This past Sunday as I was listening to Pastor Greg Laurie’s sermon, he spoke about finishing the life race well. So it started me reflecting how I would think it would be everyone’s desire to finish the life race well and feeling like their life had a purpose and that they left behind a legacy to be remembered by those closest to them.

I think that is why when I leave this world after finishing my dash, I don’t want a memorial service and people saying nice things about me. I’d rather just be a memory in their thoughts. Oh yeah, I remember Cindy — she was this or that — they can be honest. But for the most part, I hope they will reflect on whatever good they saw — the Christ in me. I know I am far from perfect. I still let inappropriate words project from my mouth (I’m constantly asking for forgiveness on this one.) It is so much better than it used to be. I’ve shared in a previous blog how my nasty little potty mouth was my defense mechanism to defend myself from bullying. I was knee high to a grasshopper, but sounded like a raging sailor when defending myself against my bullies. I’d like to think I made such an impression that those bullies remember me looking deranged in my fear. Writing this last sentence actually made me laugh out loud.

What does finishing the race well look like? I want to be remembered as being kind and serving others. I was just chatting with my sister and I actually realized that since I was a child I was always serving. Sometimes begrudgingly, but I served for my childhood immediate family, in church, in my own household with my husband(s) and children, in my career — even now as I’ve become a caregiver to my companion, I am a servant. I told my sister that maybe God is trying to show me how to be a servant who won’t do it begrudgingly in preparation of being someone in service when I finally get to my home in heaven.

I want to be remembered for my art and music. My art is original and different. It is cheerful and whimsical. There will be plenty left behind. Also, I hope those who knew I sang, will be able to remember my voice and the joy that came out of me as I sang. My favorite music has always been hymns and worship songs. I’ve sang secular music, but my preference is worship. My instruments of preference is the piano and guitar. I think I’ve left an impression on some of my younger relatives as they are starting to take up learning music for themselves. People who have shared their music, sure made an impression on me. To this day, my most favorite singer is Donny Osmond — Steven Tyler is a close second. (Couldn’t be more contrast than these two!!) Oh, I adore Justin Bieber as well!! However, I have many favorites of singers and musicians. I love all genre of music.

I want to be remembered as self-sustaining or with the appearance of doing things for myself. I can assure you that my survival skills are because God gives me strength within myself to do not only for myself, but for others who may need my assistance. I can honestly say that I don’t believe in — It can’t be done. Because I will find a way to get something done, even if I have to do it myself. In the process, I’ve suffered injuries, but isn’t that how you learn? Through the pain of your injury, you learn not to do it that way the next time, but you continue to persevere until it is done efficiently and without error. Believe me doing it myself, because of my stature and limited strength has also included me compromising in order to accomplish something. When I was younger, I wanted to move a piano. I asked my husband at that time for assistance, but he was a lazy cad so he wasn’t willing. So one day when I was alone, I managed to move the piano where I wanted it by myself. However, I will add that my center core now is riddled with hernias — gee I wonder if that might as a result of that or my twin pregnancy or both?

I also used to like to modify my furniture in my homes — it was something my brother and I both developed and did in our adulthood in our homes. I remember my Mom getting our assistance in moving our furniture around, but I can assure you it was not as often as my brother and I modified our furnishings. For me, it gave me a feeling or newness and refreshment. I’m able to keep the dust and miscellaneous lost items under furniture under control by moving it around. Through the years my family has helped me with the furniture moving, but many times I did it myself regardless of how heavy the furniture was to move. I used to use external devices to assist me in the process if I couldn’t quite push it across a carpet or floor. Sometimes, I would lift the furniture on its side to get it through a door or small passageway.

I want to be remembered as generous. I’m a giver and always have been a giver. I’m sure this is a trait I developed from my Mom. I will give her credit as a giver. My Mom has no concept of value or what it took to attain things, so if someone else needed something she wasn’t using, she would give it to them. This included a two year old car my Dad had bought her. My Mom wasn’t driving as much and they had a second car. A young lady needed a car, so she signed over the pink slip to her.  I remember she learned of a homeless shelter that was needing blankets for their cause, so she kept a set of sheets on her bed and one extra set and got all the blankets, sheets and pillow cases in her house. — emptying her linen closets and gave them all away. I remember telling her Mom, what will you do when you need more blankets and such — she told me she didn’t need them and rather they go to someone who could use them. She also would give away money to others like it was growing on trees. I know sometimes my Dad would question her logic and remind her that she would have to go without what she needed later in the month as the result of her generosity. I can tell you that God has blessed me with abundance and I do have a very generous hand, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be generous to a point of having my family go without what they needed. My Mom would give beyond and often times, we would go without. There were quite a few times where my Dad would have to set limits on her generosity. So let me rephrase my first paragraph, I want to be remembered as a generous, yet responsible person. Sometimes I wonder if that is why there is a biblical 10% tithe amount specified in the Bible— for those who need a limit on their generosity or a guide on how to responsibly give. I know there are many who give beyond that amount — me included. I think giving of one’s self is also a way of being generous when it is aimed toward other’s receiving your service.

I want to be remembered as a very loving mother to my four children. I’d do anything for any one of them. This world is so blessed to be sharing the universe with them. I love them to the core of my being.

My most important thing I want to be remember for is that I have a love for God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. I hope I have been able to share what I know to my fullest capacity of learning about God as I could with others. The other day my companion’s brother was visiting and he saw my Bible sitting next to my easy chair and asked me if I read it. I told him yes and that I studied it. He asked me why and I told him because I love Jesus and wanted to learn more about him. He then told me that his wife was spiritual too — I gather she was a Christian as well, but he used the term spiritual, which reminds me of so many other things other than Christianity. I’m a believer who is not religious. When someone will ask me if I’m religious, I always answer no that I don’t believe in organized religion and set doctrine, (I believe in values and principles) but rather I believe in a relationship with the Godhead and am led to my belief system by the Holy Spirit and not by the rituals of what man thinks how people should live for His approval or though works. That may sound harsh, but it is how I feel. I will admit that there was a time I got all caught up in the doctrine of religion rather than focusing on the relationship that is available to us through reading the Bible and praying in order to communicate and learn about our purpose through what Jesus has accomplished for us in order for us to have that relationship with God and know the peace (beyond all understanding) and love He has for us. John 3:16 summarizes it all perfectly.

There is a meme that is quite often shared about how one wants to live his life to the fullest degree and slide all tattered and worn out into a grave.  That’s how I want to finish my race. I want to have lived my life to the fullest and used up to the fragment of my strength for God’s purpose. When I close my eyes here on earth and open them in heaven, I hope to hear Jesus say — Well done, my faithful servant.

Disclaimer: I think I’ve shared this before, but I want to make sure that anyone who is reading my blog thus far knows that anything that I write may or may not have facts to back up my words, but many of the words I write are things that I have lived for myself and just want to put out into the world. I believe that maybe somewhere out there, there might be someone who might gain some encouragement or know that they are not alone in their thought process and beliefs.