Consistent Inconsistency

Today I was watching one of those Hallmark Christmas movies only this one was on UpTV. It was about a woman who had been given an hourglass necklace that could take her back in time in order to do a do over when it came to making her lifelong commitment to two potential romances. One of the romances was from her past and like everything, circumstances and decisions made during their time altered the way they had intended their lives to go as a couple together. Career decisions took them onto different paths in their lives. You could probably guess what choice she ended up making by the end of the movie.

I brought to my mind how life is very consistent to be inconsistent. When you think your life is headed in one direction, it usually takes another direction — it could be organic circumstances or choices you have actually made to change the direction of where life was moving you. I mean, I know I have thought to myself, what if I could do a do over — what would I have done differently?

I’m at an age where I have lived much of my life now and any decisions that I make now are probably going to be the ones I will end up setting as those that I’ll finish this life with. The Bible is clear not to reflect on my past, but sometimes I can’t help but think about situations I’ve been in that had I only made a different choice — maybe my life today would be different.

There was a time when I really wanted to discover and travel the world like some people have had the fortunate opportunity to do. I was actually chatting about this the other day when my companion’s brother was visiting us from Minnesota. He actually has taken advantage of being able to travel the world at different points in his life. In fact, he recently just returned from a three week excursion that was overseas. I had always wanted to see places like Hawaii, Alaska and anywhere in North America and the surrounding islands around it. When I was younger, I would have liked to venture into other continents. However, due to my life circumstances, I was never able to fit it in my schedule or was in a relationship, who had already experienced world travel and it just was never a priority for them to revisit. How I have been able to cope with this lack of adventure is I have brought artifacts from different places I would have liked to visit into my home.

I grew up in a Hispanic culture because my mother is Mexican. I’ve had the opportunity to visit the border towns of Mexico, but have not visited the center or coastal towns I often read about or have friends who have gone on vacation to these far away places. You will find Mexican themed items throughout my house of things I’ve purchased myself or that generous family or friends have gifted to me. Several years ago I took a DNA Ancestry test and found that the majority of my DNA is actually made up of French ethnicity. So it peaked my interest in wanting to find out about the French and how they colonized into Canada and the East Coast of the USA. I found a wonderful replica of the Eiffel Tower on Amazon and ordered it and kept my theme in my dining room with French like articles. There is a wonderful boutique in a small town around here (Larkspur) that sells so many beautiful things from France — so I’ve bought several things from that shop in order to get the French essence into my house. Although I enjoy these wonderful items, it sure would have been wonderful to visit those areas first hand.  I have statues, scarves, shells, stones and other nature like items from Hawaii, Indonesia and Cancun. I have a very close friend who has traveled the world and bestowed some beautiful Japanese plates and Indian silverware to me. So I guess you could say I travel the world by bringing the world into my home, since I’m unable to travel to those places.

I’ve shared in my previous posts of how I would have liked to have had a more consistent and permanent relationship with just one life partner rather than having such a fragmented line of relationships in my past. I love the idea of having a past that would have been shared for many years by one person. I read many resources and I like to read of people who have had consistency in their lives and how they have been able to maintain those consistencies. 

I’ve lived a life with variety and that is probably why sometimes I think how nice it would be to not have experienced so much variety. It seems we are never 100% content with how our life goes. I can say this, I am very happy now with my life and where I ended up — just like everyone else though, I do have some regret that there are some things I haven’t experienced that would have been wonderful to experience. I know now, when I do have an experience something wonderful, I certainly appreciate it 100 times more because they haven’t been as frequently as I would have liked them to be. So in the meantime, I just stay content with the consistent inconsistency in my life. I live my life one moment at a time and it is always interesting to see what adventure awaits me next.