Is Your Life Fulfilling?

Happy Flag Day Everyone!! It used to be my thing that on June 14th, while I was gainfully employed, to be sure that sometime during that day that I would sing, It’s A Grand Ole Flag. I sang it yesterday!!! LOL We are so blessed to be living in a country that is by far one of the best countries to be living in. Some of you may disagree because you may be really caught up in politics, but setting those differences aside, we definitely have so much to be thankful for as we walk our life journeys. Do you ever ask yourself what has been your contribution to the world during the days that you have been alive thus far? What are your priorities in this life? Who or what do you live for on a daily basis? Does your life have purpose?

I quite often have asked myself these questions throughout my 66 years of life. There have been varying answers at the many different times I’ve contemplated them. There have been seasons where I was very self absorbed with just living and I just get caught up in the noise and routine of the world. At times I felt like I was just following in the steps of the norm of society. I hit certain timeframes and I set my goals accordingly to what the average person does during each stage of life.

As you know I am a Christian and you would think well Cindy, since you are a Christian hasn’t your life always had purpose through what Christ has willed for your life? I wish I could say yes, but there were times where I became that lukewarm Christian that was getting ready to be spit out. My reason is because I became the average joe who used to attend church, but during the week my Bible would sit on a shelf and collect dust. I once had the ignorant notion that if I don’t read what it contains, then I can’t be held accountable or responsible for what I didn’t know (how genuinely stupid was that?). During those periods is when I let the world dictate what I should be prioritizing my life to be. It took me a long time, but I finally pulled myself together and worked on my relationship with God and actually learned that the Bible has a lot to say about this life that I should have read when I was first starting out on my life journey and would have made my life much easier for myself and quite frankly for everyone in my life that was in my what I call “inner circle”.

I’ve had some bumps along my road, but I can honestly say that I have had a very fulfilling life. Although I went to several different schools in several different places, I was able to experience diversity. I was a bit odd because of my quirks, but I think because of my exposure to diversity, I was able to adapt to all kinds of different lifestyles without being a judgy person. I know I was always like a neutral person who didn’t pick sides and get involved in the politics of popularity. In my younger years, I was more isolated, but as I got older, I was that friend that everyone liked because I got along with everyone. When I got old enough to start a career, having this flexibility really helped me to be able to develop skills and I was offered positions that grew me into having a very lucrative career. I knew financial insecurity as a child, but in my late 20’s/early 30’s my financial situation changed drastically and I was blessed. I’ve never been rich, but I was able to attain financial security for my family.

I was blessed with my children and they rarely went without. I actually give glory to God for providing me a path that made this possible. I had always told myself that if I ever had children, I wanted them to have the things they needed to experience a comfortable life. Also, because I did experience singleness while being a mother, I wanted to never have to depend on a man in order to support my children. Unlike myself, I did emphasize the importance of them getting a formal education after they graduated high school. All four have accomplished that goal in their own way. I’m so happy for their perseverance and motivation. I’ve seen the older two move on into wonderful careers and I hope to see my two youngest sons start their careers. All of them possess wonderful skills and talents. It’s been nice to see them grow in their own journeys. I’ve been equally blessed to have two son-in-loves in my life and two beautiful grandchildren.

I’ve written about how my life really started changing in 2018. This was four years after retiring. I accomplished my goal of becoming a WalMart Greeter/Cashier for eight months. I also attended a church that changed the direction of my spiritual journey — kudos to Our Father’s House in Los Banos. This church provided me so much instruction and opportunity to work on my relationship with God. It also provided me with so many friends who encouraged me and became a very big influence in my life. I’ve made lifelong friends by having been part of this congregation. Also, since living in Perris, CA — I’ve followed Harvest Christian Fellowship online and now consider it my church. For the past year, I became part of their Harvest Discipleship platform that provides resources for attaining biblical knowledge. I joined their cohort which provides studying books of the Bible. I’ve made several friends via this platform as well.

As some of you know, my life changed in 2021 when my husband of 24 years, decided he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. But then the Lord opened up my life in a whole new direction. As I reflected I learned that many distractions that were toxic in my life were being removed. I also was moved away from my inner circle who I love dearly, but I knew its purpose. God was removing me from anything that was distracting me from Him. By this time, my children were now independent (primarily) grown adults. I moved to Marin and became a caregiver. Little did I know how different my life would become. Although I primarily take care of my companion, how he has blessed my life is beyond words. I often tell him, just who is taking care of who now? We actually take care of each other and our life is beautiful together.

Because of this lifestyle change, I am able to be involved in a community garden. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time reading and learning. I spend a lot of time in devotion and prayer. I keep a prayer journal and pray for everyone daily.  I’ve been able to travel to see family and friends. And through the encouragement of Pastor Greg Laurie, I started writing this blog. Initially, it was everyday as I shared my testimony. Then it became once a week and now whenever I get an idea on a topic to share, I share. Also, I’ve become more proficient with playing the piano — a skill I had set aside for many years. I also have been able to spend more time experimenting with art — which is a very relaxing outlet. Along with tending a community garden now for two seasons, I have my own balcony and porch of plants I tend to. Just yesterday, I cleared off my balcony of an abundance of plants, pruned them and watered them and made a more enjoyable space both on my balcony and now my front porch, which also has a place to sit and enjoy the abundance of nature that surrounds me. Yesterday, as I sat on my balcony, I was enjoying watching the birds and butterflies, then I noticed the clouds above me were being blown across the sky by the wind — it made me really reflect on all the textures and intricate details of creation.

As I sat watching the message today by Pastor Greg Laurie, he reminded me to think about what am I contributing to this life. Am I fulfilling my purpose? He focused on heaven and the distribution of rewards based on what our contributions were while living here. It wasn’t about attaining heaven by works — but rather just how at some point God will show us how we may have made a difference in someone’s life or how we used our talents to contribute to making a difference somewhere. He shared how our kindness will have a domino effect and we will be surprised to learn who or how our simple gesture may have made a difference. The reward benefit always makes me uncomfortable to talk about, because I won’t feel worthy to receive anything. My presence in heaven will be reward enough for me. However, it also made me realize that I hadn’t written a blog in a long while and I want to remain proactive to encouraging anyone who may still be reading it.

I can honestly say that I know my life has purpose. I’ve learned that my purpose is to do the will of God and what He has planned for my life. I know in my life alone what God has restored in me — at more than one point in my life, I was broken, but He pulled me back together by hugging me real tight. In my life, there is no denying that God exists. Look around you? Evaluate your life and really reflect on all the good that is in it — God is good.  The scripture that says God will provide us a peace beyond all understanding — that is not an understatement. Since committing my life to Christ when I was twelve, my walk has been far from perfect, but I have to tell you, my life could have been so much worse had I not been given a hope of my life actually having purpose and seeing my transformation. When life gets hard, it is nice to know that Jesus is always near and always has an ear to hear our conversations whether they be of gratitude or need for comfort during a trial we might be facing. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. — It’s that simple. Along with the promise of John 3:16 — God does provide a peace beyond all understanding. I can tell you that because of God, my life is very fulfilling.