Cultivating Friendships



It has been a minute since I’ve written a blog post. This past week, I was able to reunite with who I consider my Best Friend after an over four year separation due to life changes that seemed to keep us apart.

We met when I started working for a school district in 1991. She invited me to have lunch with her and the rest is history. Up until I retired, we had a very close friendship and were able to spend time with each other quite often in our lives (almost daily). Our family times were often spent together. Together we made many memories. We both got to share in our children growing up and the many changes that happen in life.

The last time we had spent time together was in 2021, soon after my husband left our family. She traveled by herself to come spend time with me. It was soon after that she and her husband were able to retire and they relocated to Georgia. Soon after she moved, it was my intent to go to Georgia to see her new home and environment, but then I met my companion and he suffered a back injury which required surgery and I became his caregiver. Her life responsibilities also changed, so it was nearly impossible for us to travel in order to spend time together. Although we hardly spoke via phone, we kept up with each other through Facebook and texting. Finally this year, I told myself, enough was enough and I booked a flight to go see her. I have to tell you it was as if time had stood still and we just picked up where we left off. It was wonderful to see how God had blessed her life. I got to see part of her family and friends. We visited beautiful areas in Georgia as her husband had time off to spend with us. It was also a pleasure to attend her church on Sunday and worship together. God had answered so many prayers for me that week.

Seeing her made me realize the importance of cultivating friendships. On a recent trip to visit my Southern California family, I was able to meet up with another one of my dearest friends and her husband. Oh the joy my heart feels when I get to spend time with key people who have shared my life journey with me and were/are positive forces.

When I worked for a school district, I had many friends and acquaintances, but if I were to take an inventory now, the friends I still have contact with are only a few. I remember my BFF telling me one time, it isn’t so much about the amount of friends that are in your circle, but the quality of friends who are part of your life. This is very true. Probably the most contact I have with people have been my own children and family, since 2021. Also while I lived in Southern California, I had consistent church friends. When I lived in Los Banos, I met the majority of my friends there through church. As a retiree, I spend the majority of my free time with my immediate family when they are able to spend time with me. I’m pretty much an empty nester now, so it is much easier for me to travel to them, rather than them coming to see me. My visits aren’t as lengthy as I’d like them to be, because I have the responsibility of caregiving for my companion. I don’t like leaving him alone for a lengthy time period.

It’s funny how our seasons change due to circumstances or as we get older. I have managed to keep in contact through Facebook with approximately 52 family members and friends. I am involved in the Active Adult group through the Community Center in my city and have made friends through the Community Garden. I also have developed a group of friends through the Harvest Discipleship platform from Harvest Christian Fellowship.  I also have made several friends on a Senior Chat site. My circle is very small these days. I will occasionally visit various churches, however, my primary church attendance is through the Harvest Christian Fellowship live streaming every Sunday. I limit my exposure to people due to my companion being auto immune compromised and susceptible to complications due to illnesses.  However, I do recognize that cultivating those friendships that I still have is very important.

Most important to me is to surround myself with people who have a positive outlook and who are not negative. In turn, I try to be that for my family and friends. As most of you who have read my blog know that I am a Christian and try to see everyone through Jesus’ eyes and be loving to everyone. It’s just easier than being divisive and full of drama. I tend to avoid things and people that make me feel uncomfortable.



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