Fishers of Men

 

Earlier in the week I had put out a suggestion pertaining to the continuation of my blog and it was suggested that I do one post a week. I'll start seeing if Sunday would be the best day for me to blog. It always seems that Sunday, I'm refreshed with new ideas since I have had so much happen throughout my week.

Today for instance, our Pastor preached on becoming fishers of men and sharing the gospel with people you know and strangers. There was a part of his message that I found amusing and so did he. I couldn't help but think our visual artistry thought of the same image right at the same time, because as soon as I saw him laugh at what he said, I too was laughing at the thought. He was talking about having to clean actual fish and what a messy job it was to clean a salmon he had once caught. Actually it was the Evangelist Billy Graham that taught him how to clean fish. By cutting off the head and gutting the fish and then putting them on a grill for a delicious meal. Then he ventured into the scene where Jesus gets on Peter's boat and has him casting nets as Jesus instructed him to go out further to do so. I had never read the context of Jesus told him to cast out your nets and Peter responded by only casting out one net -- so because of his error to cast only one, the net began to tear and the fish were plentiful enough where even two boats could not contain them and the boats actually starting sinking. So in the context of this story came the phrase where Jesus told him that he would make Peter, James and John fishers of men. Then Pastor Greg ventured off and said that now when you catch the men, you don't want to cut off their heads and clean out their guts like you do fish-- then he laughed. I laughed as well, because when he laughed it triggered a visual of someone doing that -- it was a morbid thought, but his humor once again got me. I imagined right at that moment as the words came out of his mouth, he too got a visual -- you see when you are a visual artist, your mind can conjure up all kinds of visuals. I'm sure in his mind as well as mine, the visual was very exaggerated. Can you imagine? I've cleaned a fish before and it isn't pleasant, but again the reward as a meal at the end is delicious.

I think it is important what he was sharing today. A lot of people miss opportunities to tell others what they know about Jesus due to their own fears and insecurities. For those of you who personally know me, you know I am not shy and I am a free sharing individual. So telling other people about Jesus is not particularly a challenge for me. Also, because I keep an open prayer to God to send people to me who he would like me to share the gospel with and He always has sent me someone. It isn't everyday, but I know and can feel when it is happening. It is pretty amazing to be used as a vessel for His purpose. Just for the record, I'm not afraid of rejection (I know what that feels like), also, when I share I don't think I am better than the person I am sharing the gospel with and if they oppose to what I'm saying, I don't let it affect my belief -- they are entitled to theirs even after hearing what I had to share. When I share with people, I do it out of love for them and that's it.

Today was also the weekend for Sanctity of Life. Pastor Greg is not shy about being ProLife. I am ProLife for myself, but I am ProChoice for anyone else. I know that is an oxymoron because of my strong Christian values, however, I don't know the circumstances of a young woman who has found herself in a situation where she may need to make consideration as to whether she would be able to go through a pregnancy. Had my sexual molestions had ended with an unwanted pregnancy, my opinion might have been different for myself -- I'm so glad I never had to make that decision due to horrible circumstances. I know for myself, I could not fathom when I got pregnant out of wedlock to abort my beautiful daughter, Lennette. But there is one area of my life where at one time I had to ask forgiveness for participating in assisting a desperate friend of mine by being her other person as she went through an abortion. You see, she was a transient girl who didn't have family near her and had not made many friends — we met through college. She became my friend and in her hour of desperation, she asked me if I would please help her with her situation. I have to tell you originally, I told her no because I had such a strong opposition for myself in making a decision to end the life of a fetus. But her cries and desperation were too much for me to handle. She said that she needed someone to drive her and to stay with her for a couple hours after just to make sure after the procedure nothing happened to her. So my love for her is what made me decide to do it. I thought of not only was one life being ended, but I'd feel awful if her's ended as well as a result of her decision. After this event, we remained friends until we both graduated and then we lost touch like many people do after they graduate. However, this decision to assist her had always nagged at my soul because I felt like I was an accomplice to her decision. So one day I got down on my knees and felt such remorse and asked God for forgiveness -- I know I was forgiven. Today, though when Pastor Greg told us what Sanctity of Life was about brought back the memory. I will never forget how thankful my friend was that I went out of my strong belief system to help her out -- she told me she would be forever grateful. All I could do was comfort her during probably one of her darkest hours. In the midst of all this, I did have an opportunity to talk to her about my love for Jesus and how He would be by her side if she were to keep her unborn child, however, the responsibility was too much for her. One thing I did share with her though is that to make sure she took care of preventing this from happening again. I told her that I knew that this must have been a very hard decision to make. Who knew that many years later, I would be needing to make the decision for myself due to my bad choice of engaging in sex with someone irresponsible and definitely out of my Christian values? You see, I protected myself, but my partner later disclosed that he decided to be devious and had poked holes in the condums. Needless to say that relationship went no where and eventually ended. Through these circumstances, I have never for one moment regretted having my daughter. When you don't follow the plans that God has for your life, the outcome isn't always what you wanted for yourself. Through the years and the moment that Lennette was born, she is one of my most beautiful blessings God gave me stewardship over. My daughter thanked me for having her, because she knew her background story. She is a beautiful soul. I am proud to be her Mama.