My Mexican Heritage
Santiago and Margarita is where my Mother's side lineage started. By the time I was born in 1960, my Grandfather (Abuelito) has already passed away. I hardly know anything about him. I know he was much older than my Grandmother (Abuelita) -- who all the cousins referred to as Buelita). I know he was known to be a gardener and had a very green thumb. He could grow anything from nothing. Some of my cousins have managed to keep some of the plants he originally grew alive to this day. According to my Mom, my Abuelito used to consume adult beverages on a regular basis.. Evidently he ran a very strict household when he was around -- I guess you would need to with 11 children. I have a lovely picture that one of my cousins had made copies of both my Grandparents. (I also painted a picture of a garden with a silhouette depicting my grandparents beginnings without children and it was raffled off at one of our family reunions.) Originally, our family was Catholic. In later years, several of my relatives converted over into protestant churches.
When I was a child, I thought my Abuelita's name was Welita. When I was born, she was about 56 years old. I only know this because in 1967 when I was 7 years old, she passed away at the age of 62. I'm sure she was around when I was born in Los Angeles, however, I only remember her from the age of about 3 or 4 years old until 7 years old. However, in those short years, my Buelita would become a very important part of my life. It was quite often while my Mom worked that I was left in her care. Even though in retrospect, I know that my Buelita was a small little lady. She didn't carry a lot of weight on her in the years I knew her, but she must have carried some weight when she was younger, because she had the most wonderful arm wings that when she held me in her arms to put me to sleep, I used to knead softly in my little hands to go to sleep for a nap or before bedtime. My Buelita had a very thick Mexican accent and for the most part spoke Spanish. Except she would speak English to me, because my Mom never taught me nor my brother how to speak Spanish. She tried to teach me many words. She was the matriarch of her family of 11 children -- there were actually 13 born to her but two died in their infancy or young childhood. Every family get together was at her house. Her "big" wonderful brown house with a porch that expanded all the way across the front of her house. There were about four steps that led up to the porch. Her yard was huge. She had a partial green lawn and a lot of dirt that became a parking lot and playground for her large family when we all would visit her. She had cactus known as Nopales all around the right side of her house. Also to this day I love Sweet Alyssum, because that grew everywhere around her green foliage and cactus. In all the yard of the homes I have owned or rented, I always would buy some Alyssum to plant as it always reminded me of her. (I painted an acrylic painting of her house that I gave to my Aunt Mickey.)
I only have beautiful memories of my Abuelita. All day long her house would smell like Folgers Coffee and Pinto Beans, because she always had a pot of coffee and a pot of beans boiling on her stove in her kitchen. Daily, my grandmother made a ton of flour tortillas. I used to love to watch her make them, because she was an expert who would knead that dough, roll them into perfect little balls and then roll them out into the most perfectly round tortillas you ever saw. They were absolutely delicious. It was quite often as she made them that she had a line of family waiting for her as she took them off her flat iron cooker and handed them to us rolled with slathers of butter or margarine. There was always delicious Mexican food cooking in her house. She was the originator of the holiday tamale making and menudo/pozole soups. I remember only delicious breakfasts, lunches and dinners coming out of her kitchen. Quite often she would sit in the front room with a large pan and would be cutting up her cactus to make Nopalitas. I remember too, she always had a pitcher of Koolaid for all her grandkids. She would share what she had with everyone. As a child, it was always the place where food was ample. I would think with all her children, they would often supply her with what she needed in order to feed us all. I know she didn't work, so I knew she had to get money to pay rent and to pay for her household along with food. I know she was able to do a lot with little. During the holidays, there always seemed to be Mexican Bread (Pan Dulce) around. Along with that bread was her pot of coffee and milk or juice for the kids.
When I was little, I know there was a short period where my Mom, myself and my brother lived with her. My youngest Aunt (Tia) Mickey also was still unmarried and lived with her. I also knew that two of my Buelita''s sons, Dicky and Henry lived with her. Mind you her house was only a two bedroom house. I know all the boys slept in one large room and all the girls slept in another. My Buelitas bedroom had two beds in it. I usually slept between my Buelita and Mickey. I know that because until my Mom came home from work, they hated that I used to kick them throughout the night.And because I had childhood fears, I rarely liked being in that bedroom alone. I shared in a previous blog how I used to see a man with a big smile in my Abuelita's closet. Unfortunately, her house was also the place where I suffered my childhood trauma at the age of four years old. The safety I felt with my Abuelita and Aunt Mickey far outshined some scary memories there.
My Abuelita up until her very last years had the longest and most beautiful hair. I used to watch her braid it and then roll her long braid around her head and she would used hair combs to keep her braid secured for the day. I used to think she was so beautiful. She had the prettiest smile, even though when she smiled really big, you could see her missing tooth. Her clothes were very simple. She wore dresses, which were always covered with an apron which had a strand of safety pins always hanging off her left shoulder. She had little black or brown shoes and her stockings were always rolled around her ankles. (I painted a canvas acrylic painting that one of my Aunts owns that depicts Abuelita's Apron.) She also cinched both her dress and her apron with a black or brown leather belt around her waist. Quite often when us kids got into mischief, that belt would come off her and become a projecting whip that would catch their butts as they tried to escape her discipline -- which was in no way abusive -- it was just how she kept all us cousins in line. I will admit, I never felt her discipline ever. I would run, because all the other cousins would run around, but she never ran after me. I think this was because my Abuelita knew I had suffered trauma and was special (Autism Spectrum). Quite often she would have to settle my meltdowns and fears that I exhibited. God forbid a fly landed on me!! She had a blanket or towel always ready to cover my head until someone could kill the fly as I screamed and flailed my arms until they showed me a fly with guts dead. My Abuelita quite often along with my Aunt and Uncles used to be fascinated by me as I stimmed and walked in circles in the middle of her living room. They were perplexed as to why I did that, but loved me just the same. My Aunt Mickey used to always say my name over and over, until she would break me from my trances. I remember those episodes vaguely. I actually have credited my Aunt as being the one who pulled me out of my Autistic world into the real world for the most part. She was very patient with me. In fact, for the longest time, she was my favorite person in the whole world.
One day, my Aunt Mickey announced that she would be getting married to her boyfriend Raymond. I really disliked that guy (we finally became friends when I was a junior in high school) -- not so much for who he was, but because he would be taking my Aunt away and marrying her. My Aunt loved me so much, I was her flower girl for her wedding. I remember when she announced her engagement, I went to the back of my Abuelitas' house and sat at the screen door screaming and slamming the screen door open and shut. Everyone had to calm me down. My Aunt assured me that even though she loved her fiancé, she would always love me the same. On their wedding day they walked up to me after they were married and I pulled off her vail and kicked her new husband in the shins. That was the story everyone used to always loved to share, even into my adulthood. Those two remained married until my dear Aunt became a Widow when Ray passed away more than several years ago. My dear beautiful Aunt Mickey passed away during Covid.
My Abuelita was loving to everyone. I'm sure her own children have different stories, but all of us cousins loved her dearly. She was an Abuelita who didn't show favoritism. She would always share what she had. Inclusive of giving us money for the Helms Bakery Man and the Ice Cream Truck that served soft served ice cream. She would always put extra money in my hand and ask me to buy her something as well. She really wasn't supposed to be eating sweets, because she had diabetes -- the disease that eventually shortened her life. She was only 62 years old when she took her last breath on earth. I can't wait to see her again in heaven.
My Abuelita used to watch boxing and wrestling on her little TV with her sons and daughters. She also used to love playing cumbias on her radio. I am blessed to still own her standing radio. Even though it doesn't work and has been renovated by my Mom, it is a beautiful memory and lovely piece of furniture. Her cumbias would come on and she would dance in the middle of the floor lifting up each side of her dress and stomping her shoes to the music on top of a hallow wooden floor. Her smile would light up the room. Sometimes, my Uncles would take turns dancing with her.
In all, I was blessed with many Uncles (Tios) and Aunts (Tias) who were very much a part of my life for many, many years. I know I won't be telling you in chronological order of ages, but I'll get as close to it as possible. There were six girls and five boys that my Abuelita mothered. The boys are Pat, Meno (Manuel), Chris (who originally was Eddie) Dicky, and Henry. The only son living is Chris. The girls are Molly (aka Nini), Frances, Sally, Josie (aka Chepa), Margarita (aka Tiny -- also my Mom) and the youngest Mickey. The only daughter living is my Mom and she just turned 85 this year. All of them had Spanish names, but I don't want to butcher them and get them wrong, so I wrote their names how I grew up knowing them. All of them were very special to me. I think I'll reserve introducing you to them in another blog.
Needless to say, because there were 11 siblings in their lineage, I have a slew of cousins, who had babies, who had babies, who had babies, etc. My Aunt Chepa's branch is the family who populated the family lineage the most -- I would be interested to know how many cousins and extended family I have just from that branch. My Mom's branch only goes five generations. My Mom is a Great-Grandmother. The family reunions we have the week after Easter are huge and that's without everyone in attendance. Again, with most of the original siblings now with the Lord (it is my hope), I can't wait until we are all reunited once again. I have several pictures of my Mom's side of the family around my house, but the following one is a favorite of mine and only includes all my Uncles and youngest Aunt and my Abuelita.
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