Family Connections

I'm a little late in getting my blog together tonight, because I just couldn't think of a topic to write about. For some reason, my body got out of sync and I had kind of a not feeling myself day. But as I was sitting here thinking, my family connections came to mind. I was thinking about how at one time all my family lived very close to one another. The one family member who lived furthest away from me was my brother's second family -- they lived eight hours away when my family lived in Southern California. At one time, they too lived in Southern California. Today, I live about four hours away from them, my eldest children and their families live about seven hours away and my youngest twins still live in my primary home which is about two and a half hours away.

Southern California was primarily my home up until 2014 when I retired. Then I moved my family to Washington for four years. I relocated back to Central California where for a few years I had all my children living close to me. However, circumstances and decisions change in just a matter of a short period of time. I never thought that I wouldn't have my children close to where I lived, but here we are today with some distance between us. 

As I visit now in Southern California, I can't grasp how the population down there grew so fast in a period of ten years. Because I have a taste of living in a much slower paced environment, I could never see myself moving back down there. I don't like how I can smell marijuana as I drive on the freeways down there. The congestion to do anything down there is horrible. Everything is a line down there now. When I speak to my family that live down there and how long it takes to even see a doctor if you are sick is ridiculous. Living in the Central California and Bay Area suburbs isn't populated to the extent of Southern California. Sure there is traffic in the main city of San Francisco and that is why I could never live there.

However, in my new season, I do miss having a constant presence in my children's lives. But, one thing I always told them was that I didn't have them to stifle them -- I wanted them to soar and to live their lives to the fullest. I understand the careers and other relationships involved outside of what once was my whole world changed. We all have our seasons and they are forever changing.

I will share that I do admire how for the most part, my Mom's side of the family has managed to stay in or close to where they were raised. Some of their children have ventured further away, but for the most part, they live close to one another in the Los Angeles region of Southern California. My immediate family members live primarily in the Inland Empire, Riverside and San Diego areas.

When my children and I do have our times together, we remind each other that we are only a plane ride away from each other. There was a time when that distance was further apart. We all are back in California again. We stay connected through phone calls, texting, social media and when our time has been too long of seeing each other, we Zoom and have a night of family games. I love that my older kids keep me in the loop by sending me glimpses of their lives through pictures. My youngest boys are too consumed by trying to finish up their college educations -- however, I maintain tabs on them quite often as well. I know once they start their careers that things will be different until we find a balance.

There was a time when holidays and special occasions were always based at my house. Now we split or share holidays. This year for Thanksgiving I'll be hosting ours the Saturday after so my son and his husband can spend the day of Thanksgiving with his husband's family. There have many times where when I hosted in Los Banos, we would split the holiday. My daughter will be spending her Thanksgiving with her cousin, which I thought was beautiful as it has been forever since she has had that opportunity. So we do what we can to make some time for each other. I'll be hosting our family Christmas on Christmas Day at our Los Banos home. However, my son and his husband invited me and my companion to join them at their Airbnb a couple days before Christmas, so that should be fun as well. Hopefully my daughter and her family will be able to schedule time with us -- they have careers that aren't on the same schedule as each other and it makes it a little more challenging for them to get away. Sometimes my little sister and her family will join us as they have family who live near Los Banos.

I always like to look on the bright side of things and remember when we had many, many of our holidays and special occasions together for so many years. I truly have been blessed and I don't want to disregard all those beautiful memories. There was a time when we would all meet up in Las Vegas when I had a time share there the week of Christmas for several Christmases. Always wherever we meet up and when is always special and fulfilling.

I can remember as I was raising my own children there were many times where I would host events at my house and my parents and other family members were always welcome to join us. Sometimes they would join us and sometimes they wouldn't. Most of our holidays during that time were split between my family and my husband's.

I can honestly say that it has only been in the past four years that our holiday and birthday events take a little extra planning and we just have to accept the fact that some of us can make it and some can't. We do our best to be inclusive of everyone and try to accommodate when we can make it work. Because of my companion's limitations (he has had two significant back injuries in the last two years), I haven't been as free to fly down as often as I used to visit my Southern California kids and sister's family. I try to stay connected with my youngest sons with us taking turns on a monthly basis spending time together.

My eldest son has a career that affords us an opportunity to connect when he is in the Bay Area on business. I love that he will set aside one or two days to stay with us even if he has to work during the day. All my children are wonderful at keeping me posted through texts, pictures, etc. I love that about them. I feel like when they go on vacation or special family events, I'm there with them sharing the experience through pictures. My joy is seeing their happiness and how full their lives have become. I would be remiss by not letting you know that my life the way it is now -- is very special and very happy. For the first time in my life, I am content and very happy with my companion. I get to indulge in my arts of both art and music as I now have a dedicated area to do that. The area that my companion has us living is absolutely beautiful. I am just about 10 minutes from the Bay -- Sausalito. The home that he rents for us tucked in a wooded area off the 101 Freeway and it is quiet and serene. And the home is big enough to accommodate my family staying and visiting with me whenever they get the opportunity.

God has blessed me abundantly with my children and their families. I am so thankful that He allowed me to have the opportunity to be their Mother, Mama, Mom, Suegra and Grandma. I am so loved by them and they know I love them to pieces -- each and everyone.  (This includes my little sister and her family -- she has always been more of a daughter to me as there is 20 years between us.)