Where Is My Home

I have lived in so many places since I was a little girl. The earliest home I can remember living in was an apartment in Manchester, New Hampshire. I only know the place, because my mother told me my memory was describing New Hampshire. I only remember the kitchen and one memory from that apartment. I believe my biological parents must have lived near her relatives when I was born, because I was born in Los Angeles, CA. During my Mom's separation from my biological father in New Hampshire, my brother and myself were temporarily housed in an orphanage. After they separated, my Mom traveled back to California to be near her relatives again. We lived there until she met and married my step father in 1967, when I was seven years old.

When my Mom was single, we were either living with her Mom or one of her sister's originally, but then she lived in a duplex on Riverview Avenue in El Monte for a short time. Later she would move into what we referred to as the yellow apartments, still in El Monte, but closer to downtown. I remember the yellow apartments very well. I remember being friends with a couple neighbor's children. One of the boys, I remember fed me halved apricots and he had put dog food in the center unbeknownst to me. My brother knew and they both had a good laugh when they saw me scarfing them down. I had another little girlfriend who lived next door. I went to her house and I remember she opened a bottle of vitamins -- the kind with the candy shell on the outside. So she and I proceeded to suck all the hard candy off the outside of each one. I remember my Mom coming home and asking me if I had swallowed any. I assured her that I didn't but rather just liked the sweet outside. I also remember I had a cousin and his wife who lived there in another apartment downstairs. I must have had my six or seventh birthday there, because I remember having a small party and my Mom had bought me a Beatles Cake. I remember one of the little girls removed Ringo off of his drum set and licked the frosting off of where he was sitting and everyone teasing her about it. I also remember, one day I saw a beautiful black silk wreath on the door of one of our neighbor's apartments. I remember looking up at it and thinking how beautiful it was. I asked my Mom why she had that wreath on her door and my Mom informed me it was because someone very close to her must have passed away and she didn't want to be disturbed in her mourning. I remember we must have lived in those apartments for at least 3 years, because we lived there when I had my sad experience at four years old (story was told in an earlier blog) up until my Mom married my stepfather.

We moved to Inglewood, CA to an apartment. Then an apartment in Lomita where my stepdad's parents lived nearby. Then we moved into a house next door to his parents. Then when they were able to afford a home of their own, they bought a house a block away from Pacific Coast Highway (this was the house I considered my childhood home and loved the aesthetics of it, but hated the dreaded memories it held for me). So we lived in Lomita probably from 1968-1975. We lived four months in a brand new house in Brawley (talk about miserable and hot). We moved back to the Los Angeles area into an apartment and lived there until my brother graduated high school. Then we moved to Yucaipa, CA into a beautiful single story home that my parents bought. It had acreage and that is where my stepdad starting raising horses and a couple calves. My Mom had a hoard full of little farm animals as well. I loved that the house had a full view of the San Bernardino Mountains behind it. We lived there when there were orange tree orchards around us. So every Spring, we would have the scent of orange blossoms and of course, allergy season.

My first husband owned a trailer in San Bernardino and not the nice part of San Bernardino. My second husband and I lived in an apartment for a short while in Riverside, then bought a house together there as well. After our divorce, I lived in an apartment in Riverside for a short while when I was single. My third husband and I lived in Grand Terrace in a condo and then when we were mostly separated I had my own apartment there as well. During one of our separations, I ended up moving to Perris, CA into an apartment, then rented two homes. Married husband number four and ended up buying a home with him there. I lived in Perris from 1991-2008. Then I moved to Nuevo, CA and rented a beautiful ranch home. Then the owner lost his beautiful home, so I relocated back into another house I rented in Perris again. When I retired, I moved my family up to the state of Washington and rented a couple huge homes up there for a period of four years. Then my husband and I started having marital issues far beyond what I could handle and I relocated myself to Central California, where I ended up purchasing a brand new home for my ex-husband and I in Los Banos. I say I purchased it, because my retirement incentive was the down payment and I ended up paying the mortgage until we divorced. We had agreed the purchase of this home was to become our family home for our twin boys/family and it wouldn't be sold. To this day, that is my primary residence, but I actually occupy two other secondary homes as well in the Bay Area now.

A back story to my home life is that as long as I can remember, I had always told myself that I would never live in a luxury home until I was called home to live with Jesus. I know that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for all of us there (those who believe in his promises and gospel). But, like everything else in my life, I control nothing. So one of the homes I occupy is a very luxurious house that actually is being rented by my companion. 

My purpose of writing this blog today is to share how temporary a home can be for some. I remember, I had always thought that once I settled into a home, especially one that was purchased, it would become my forever home. I have cousins and friends who have lived in the same homes they were born in or acquired when they got married. I always thought that would be wonderful to be raised on a homestead, but that just wasn't where my life led me. For me, the realization that this place, this rock we live on, is very temporary and I will never have a forever home as long as I'm alive. I have been abundantly blessed with living in homes that actually have been pretty amazing.  I count my blessings that I have never been homeless -- I can't even imagine what that would be like.

As a result, my kids never really had to go without and could always be happy in the homes they lived in. My two older kids actually lived with their respective fathers in different homes when we shared custody. Now they have grown up and have homes of their own. My younger ones reside in the Los Banos home and will hopefully remain there until they decide otherwise. They will have an easier transition into living independently once they finish their educations. Where ever we have settled as a family, I always made it a home. I love decorating and for the most part, my homes have always been clean and organized. There were many times where I got so comfortable I would think this must be the last house, but then life would change for me -- over and over again. I've already made a decision, should I not be raptured, that I don't want to be buried and mourned over in a cemetery, so my final resting place will be in the middle of the ocean. A place that I often visit and feel closest to the vastness of God's creation. God will resurrect his garden of believers from where ever they were sowed. (I read this metaphor in Humble Roots.)

Again, I fall back on the fact that all my homes here are temporary. One of the things I'll look forward to is that my future includes a forever home with my creator and savior. It will be interesting to see what the dynamics of the prepared place will be. I once had a dream that I was in heaven, Jesus was dressed as a high priest with jewels on his robed chest. He was showing me around a palace like structure with mahogany and marble everywhere. There was fancy furniture and tapestries with very ornate decorations. He told me that I would be waiting for those I love here until it was their time to join us. To be honest, God can put me anywhere in heaven as long as I'm there!! I've also imagined a little cottage house with dense gardens and an arbor. All I know everything here is temporary and that includes my homes.

John 14:3 -- "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

Philippians 3:20 --  "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ."