The Calms Before The Storms

 

In my upbringing there were calm times. The times I most looked forward to as I was growing up. These are the times and memories I have often reflected on to get me through the storms. It reminds me that I have had nice memories and those should be the ones I bring to the forefront of my mind.

I can recall my Mom for the most part of my earliest years used to keep my hair long. I remember her lovingly brushing it for me. I also remember how she would cut up rags and twist my hair into the long strands. The next morning I would wake up and have the most beautiful drop curls. She often did this when we were going to attend a special occasion. Also, when she knew there would be picture day at school, she would make sure that my hair looked just right. Especially when she knew they had enough funds that she would be able to buy the pictures. When I look back, it was rare that she didn't buy even just the smallest packet of pictures just to preserve the memory of her children as they grew. I believe she bought them so she could mail them out to her family.

My Mom has a gift for keeping in touch with people she loves from a distance. One of her gifts has always been writing. When her heart was in a good place, she wrote the most beautiful letters. Quite often my Aunts and cousins would let me know that they had received a nice letter from my Mom. I had a favorite cousin -- in fact several of my cousins -- that my Mom would put together a letter with all kinds of resources, so they could learn about Jesus. Of course, these were the cousins who had quite often heard her talk about Him and got curious about it and would ask her to teach them what she knew. Her letters not only included the resources, but she would also include little drawings she would do to add to the mailings. Another gift my Mom possessed was an artistic ability. She told me that she couldn't create in her mind, but would find pictures that she would copy and paint or draw them. Her art was masterful. There are several of her paintings that hang in my Los Banos home. In high school I was in a musical. She had captured a picture of me and a young man singing together in a dim stage/auditorium. She took that picture home and flawlessly recreated it on a piece of wood. She had the wood specially framed and presented it to me as a reminder of that time. She was my artistic influence for sure. She influenced my sister as well and their art skill levels are masterful compared to mine.

After I graduated from a vocational college, I have always worked. In 1983, my first child was born and I had my last children (twins) in 1998. Outside of me hiring babysitters for my children, my mother always wanted to watch my children. She took pride in her grandchildren. Because she was also a master gardener (which she inherited from her father), she would refer to her children and grandchildren as the flowers that God gave her to tend to. You have to remember that these memories were in the good times of our lives. My children benefitted from her babysitting them and they too have very fond memories of their time with her when they were little ones. Quite often she would take them to her church -- she was very involved in children's ministry. Along with my own church attendance and her influence, my children used to know all the church school songs and stories. My Dad worked for the most part, but even he got involved with spoiling my children by buying them coins and collections from the Bradford Exchange. He taught them how to look up the value of coins they collected and what to look for if they ever took an interest in collecting their own. They still have all the coins he bought them. He taught them to play chess. He always owned horses when their homes had acreage and he would teach them how to ride and take care of the various farm animals that they owned. Quite often when picking up my children, they would be down with my Mom tending to all her farm animals.

My Mom's gardens. My Dad would let my Mom spend money like it was growing on trees on her gardens. I believe this is where my Mom could release her stress and feel her calm. Even when they were poor, my Mom always managed a garden -- she would take cuttings from neighbors and her relatives and always have a beautiful garden. I used to be amazed how this little 5'2" woman could construct such displays of beauty. She was constantly moving dirt from one pile to another, digging huge plots of land in preparation for her floral displays. She would move the heaviest items from one part of the yard to the other -- some of them were huge boulder type rocks. My children's wagons became her carrier of her gardening items and moving vessel. She would get all her grandchildren involved in the planting and tending of these gardens. They enjoyed every minute with her as she instructed them what they needed to do. Oh and the joy they would receive when they would see the fruits of their labor. Her gardens were dense, like Victorian gardens. She had every variety of flower and ground cover you could imagine. She not only knew the common names of the plants she grew, she knew their formal names. My little sister was always a part of these memories and she has just a vast as knowledge of plants, etc. as my Mom. My gardening skills are there, but I prefer gardens on a smaller scale and drought resistant. I'm more of a plants on balcony woman. I'm glad to say, I do have a green thumb as well -- I too enjoy just sitting and looking at my flowers and being in the middle of the sounds of nature. I'm sure that comes from my Mom's influence. I used to enjoy sitting in her gardens.

When my brother and I were in our teens starting in 10th grade for me, my Mom used to love to have us sing and play our instruments for her. By this time I had learned to harmonize with my brother's voice. She loved when we performed for her. She could go hours listening to us if we let her. Quite often, she would keep requesting particular songs and finally we'd be exhausted and tell her we were done. In my mind I could still see her sitting in a chair with her hand under her chin, elbow on her knee with a look of contentment as she listened to us playing. These were some nice memories of her.

There were times when my parents would see me struggling financially as a single (mother) woman and would offer to financially help me in order to get a set of tires for my car or help me pay off a bill that was hanging over my head that was caused by one of my ex husband's over spending and leaving me with the financial responsibility, because most of the credit attained was in my name. I remember quite often, even when I was married, I'd come home completely exhausted and my parents would have prepared a dinner or bought dinner so I wouldn't have to go home and prepare food for my family.

So yes, I have the traumatic memories -- but, I also have the good memories that I call the calms before the storms.

AI Generated: "The transformed memory of our past will serve to magnify God's grace, which is the ultimate goal of His plan."

Deuteronomy 32:7: 

"Remember the days of old; consider the years of many generations; ask your father, and he will show you, your elders, and they will tell you".

Philippians 1:3-4 -- "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy."