Live & Speak Your Truth

What qualifies you to speak about the values you hold as your truth? Could it be the wisdom passed down from generation to generation by our ancestors, by our religious leaders and resources, by God’s laws, by governmental laws, by political party, by our mentors, by our friends, by our neighbors, by our enemies, by our educations or lack of, or by social media? Can you defend those values? Can you defend them without getting angry because the feed back you receive is different? Can you do it without putting a label or name calling the other person’s or organizational views?  If you receive information that is different than your own, but are open minded enough to accept it, are you able to adjust those values? Can we do it without violence? We need to ask ourselves these questions and to be able to defend our stand!!

There have been many times in my life where I've made adjustments to my belief system. Primarily when it came to my "religious" beliefs. When you are raised Seventh Day Adventist, the doctrine they teach is quite different than what another non-denominational churches believe. I have not been to an SDA church in forever and I am wondering if they have reformed a little. I remember there was a time when jewelry wasn't condoned in the church, but in the 1990's, things changed a little with regard to being able to wear a wedding ring, etc. I would hope that their teachings are geared more toward relationship toward God through Jesus Christ, rather than some of the legalistic requirements they used to have and require of their members. Don't get me wrong, I admire all the different denominations of churches that exist and the people whose beliefs are geared toward its teachings, I'm just sharing how my belief system changed by studying the Bible and developing a better understanding of the Bible for myself.

I'm also discovering that in my politics, I've always been more middle ground rather than leaning left or right. As of late, I'm finding it difficult to exist in a world that is so politically divided. When I was growing up from the 60's until now, I remember the elections and I remember who won and who lost in most of those campaigns. I was taught by my elders, not just my parents, that even though the candidate you wanted may not have won, but you still had a respect for the person who sat as the President of the United States. It was also tabu if you spoke derogatorily about said person sitting in the White House. All I can say is that things sure have changed.

As most of you might know if you have been following my blogs, I am a retired Human Resources Manager. One of my duties in my position was to sit on the negotiating table with classified staff as a district representative. Prior to my holding my position, both our certificated and classified unions were very positional. I loved that I worked during a time when there was a method called Interest Based Bargaining. In this method of negotiations, as we were negotiating issues we didn't agree on, instead of holding our positions, both sides would work toward a compromise where both sides would benefit. As those agreements were reached, it was recognized that both sides had to give a little and take a little and put our common interests in the forefront, which was to educate children and not effect them financially, and in doing so not providing them with less of an education due to budgeting constraints. Many times while at the table, we would agree to disagree. The meetings for negotiating were also much calmer in those days and we all agreed that we would keep our attitudes in check. I certainly enjoyed the relationships we had around the table at that time. Toward the end of my tenure with the district, I think things were going back to a more positional approach again. Such a shame.

Sometimes in my leadership position, I was the one who had to administer discipline to employees and use due process to accomplish results. As our department worked with employees to make them successful and working toward satisfactory performance, sometimes the fit just wasn't there and then I would have to release some employees. As we met when having to make modifications, I would always remind them to not take what happened here as failure, but as opportunity for growth. As I was performing their exit interview, quite often I would offer them a letter of recommendation which pointed out their assets and not make it a painful severing of relationship. Yes, there were those who wouldn't take my methods at face value and would react negatively. Those employees I would escort out personally to assure the safety of other employees. However, for the most part most employees left our district without feeling destroyed. I would often tell them that possibly there is a better opportunity waiting for them. Believe it or not, sometimes I would even pray for the employee I was releasing. This in itself reached their spirit, which is the bottom line of what it means to be a human with compassion. Yes, it was disappointing to have to release an employee, but I wasn't there to destroy them when change was necessary. I often used this same strategy when administering underperforming performance evaluations. No one wants to hear where they have fallen short, so you also concentrate on what they have done well and move forward to meet standards as their career progressed. I saw many success stories as a result.

In my life, I have always been that person who never wanted to take sides about anything that would cause discomfort to anyone else or another side. I dislike confrontation. My strategy didn't work for me as a child, however as an adult, I had more friends by remaining the neutral. For the most part in my career, I was always a confidential or in management. Now in looking at my own children, I wished as I was growing in this area that I had developed the skills my children have learned. They have such an optimism about them. They like to look at the bright side of things even when things are adversarial. My oldest son is in a leadership role and is well liked by his peers and those he manages, because of his willingness to work with everyone and find strategies that work for everyone involved. I've watched him grow in his career with different companies and he is always liked and never burns a bridge when he is promoting into other opportunities.

It is my desire in this life that one day we will reach a point again when we can agree to disagree and still remain amicable. I understand the reality of spiritual warfare (my view) and sometimes things are just working against us to accomplish what we desire.

Isaiah 54:17 - No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

• Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things".