Conquering Giants

 

This morning I was getting ready to run my errands and some thoughts kept popping into my head about the giants I have had to conquer in my journey. We all have them at different times throughout our lives. Some giants are bigger than others.

The one giant that was forefront in my braincells was when I was in fourth grade. I've always been a very small person. My classmates always towered over me. Which unfortunately, due to my awkwardness socially, made me a target for bullying. Because of my small frame, believe me I was never the one to initiate the battles I had to fight. At this particular grade level there was this HUMONGOUS girl named Lisa who decided she was going to target me in the girl's restroom and beat me up. It was terrifying. She grabbed my hair and started just plowing her huge body towards me and hurting me. I was defenseless against her massiveness. But, I was not going to let her take me down. So I fought back as hard as I could to escape her punches and hair pulling. I was able to free one of my arms long enough to take my fist and sock her in the mouth extremely hard. It was instant release. Blood was pouring out of her mouth. The yard supervisor or teacher who broke us up, did not send me to the office as witnesses told them who started the confrontation. So I thought this was the end of this battle. The next morning there was a knock on our front door. When my Mom opened the door, there was Lisa with her parents. They came to confront my parents about having to pay for the braces that their fierce daughter had knocked out of their daughter's head. Her parents insisted that they wanted to meet me and see me for the awful child that did this to their sweet daughter. As soon as I brought my short statured self out and they saw my meekness, they looked at their daughter and then at me and apologized to my parents as it was obvious to them who the provoker was of this battle. They told my parents and apologized for their daughter's behavior and to not worry about any costs they incurred. So that giant was successfully dealt with in my favor. I thank God for giving me the strength I needed to win that battle.

In fifth grade, I had another girl who took it upon herself to inflict pain into my shins every time she saw me at recess. I would go home and my Mom would ask, who keeps doing that to me. I told her this girl named Gaylene who always said mean things to me and then would kick me repeatedly into my shins. She also was a girl who stood over me in height. I often would tell my teacher and the same thing would happen over and over again. Gaylene had gone as far as to tell me that she told her Mom about me and her Mom told her that one day I would be fat and ugly. I thought at that time, okay, but why did how I look concern her or her mother. Anyways, after yet another shin kicking, this time the teacher punished her and set her on a bench or something, so she threatened to get me after school. All the kids heard her say this, so there were a group of kids waiting for her to beat me up. As I tried to walk past, she grabbed me and put me in a headlock, so my natural defense at that time was to bite the heck out of her arm that had me in a headlock. She then released me and started crying, so I walked home unscathed by that battle. Again, her Mom got in touch with my parents about how I had bit her. My parents told her what Gaylene had been doing to me repeatedly and that they needed to know that I was a small child who Gaylene was bullying. Again, I faced that giant and I believe I was given strength by God to rise above that particular battle.

It seemed that in elementary school, I was always fending off a potential battle from those who felt it was their place to bully me. Eventually, my bark got louder than my bite (haha) and they would leave me alone. I got the reputation after beating up my giants that I was not someone to challenge. I also will admit I had quite the potty mouth by this time and I would scream and yell at anyone who threatened me. By the time I cussed them up one side and down the other, they would leave me alone. Reflecting back, I must have looked and sounded like a yapping Chihuahua. It was an effective defense mechanism for me though.

As a child, preteen and adult, I have many giants I've had to battle. If you have been reading my blogs, you know the stories. It's unfortunate that I know how to defend myself. There were a couple relationships where a man has put his hands on me -- because I had so much pent up anger, my strength was over powering and they soon found out how strong physically I could become even though my stature was small. Of course, along with being able to make grown men cry by beating them up and being sorry they ever touched me, I was able to verbally inflict pain like no other onto them as well. My threats were real and if they had ever laid another hand on me, I shudder to think what I would have done to them. These two men tried it once and never again inflicted physical abuse on me. Thank God, I never had to find out by carrying out my threats or end up in jail. I'm not proud of my combative behavior, but I am a survivor. I swore, I would never be a victim ever to physical or emotional abuse. I had my fair share in my life.

Deuteronomy 20:4 "The Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you ... to give you victory."

Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Psalm 18:39 "God armed me with strength for battle: you humbled my adversaries before me."