What We Eat And Drink
Some recollection that I personally have was as a child, I unfortunately, knew what hunger felt like. It also has given me a heart for children who I know depend on food programs offered by schools at a free and reduced rate. As a district employee, I would hear of the children who would partake in the free lunch programs and would ask if they could take some food home to their younger siblings who were not attending schools. It broke my heart that staff had to refuse them food to take because of federal regulations. Imagine children in the United States going hungry because things have just grown too expensive and some parents can't even make a living wage.
There was a time when subsidizing programs to feed children was unheard of and children just went without. My mother shared with me her demise when my brother and I were toddlers and she was alone in New Hampshire. due to separation from her husband. There were times she would put us to bed hungry. I can't even imagine how that would make her feel. Because of her struggles there was a short time we were put in an orphanage until she was able to assure she could take care of us again. I have a memory of me being in a bed there (I was about 3 years old) and I had curled myself to the top of the bed and curled up on the pillow. I remember the cold of the metal cage like frame that hit the middle of my back. I have a flash of a memory of my brother, who was a toddler himself, leading me down steps holding what little belongings we had. I would imagine the staff saw we had escaped and retrieved us back. I would hope that while at the orphanage, my brother and I were fed well. My Mom remarried, but we were still poor for many years.
I remember food being scarce in our house. We would quite often, cut off the rot or mold from food and consume it. We had barely enough to feed us all. Quite often, my brother would ask if I was going to finish eating what I had been served and quite often, I would just push it his way. Those food insecurities followed us through our youth and adulthood. I remember going to school without a breakfast or lunch. Periodically, the food ladies would offer me a piece of bread with butter and water. There were children at the lunch table who would ask me where my food was and I would shyly tell them I didn't have anything. These precious children would sometimes push food in my direction and share what they had. My parents got to a point where they could provide food for all of us. However, my brother quite often ate his portion and mine. I would tell my Mom about it and she would tell me that I didn't eat it fast enough. I really resented those times. I always felt that when there was food in the house, I had to hurry and eat my share or I wouldn't enjoy some of the more tasty foods offered. Then there were the times as children when there was abundance and we would sit with a bag full of penny candy and consume a hundred pieces in an hour or less. Needless to say, I can see how my bad eating habits were formed.
There was a time where we were practicing Seventh Day Adventists and we became vegetarians. We were taught that there were foods that were considered unclean to eat. Imagine a life without bacon and crustaceans. I had shared before how as a youth, I used to be invited to a family's home to spend time with them. They were Italians and I always ate well at their home. Quite often after church, they would take me with them to a restaurant they patroned. Mr. C would ask me what I wanted to eat and that I could have whatever I wanted on the menu. I remember one time, I saw a picture of some delicious coconut shrimp. I told him I would like the coconut shrimp platter if that was okay. Their grandson immediately looked at me and them and told them I couldn't eat that because it was unclean. Mrs. C and her grandson tried to talk Mr. C into not buying it for me, but he told them both that I could eat whatever I wanted to eat. I always loved this family for years thereafter and especially Mr. C for just loving me as I was. There was another time after being vegetarians for years that my Uncle and Aunt brought my cousin by to visit and took the four of us to Redondo Beach Pier. I loved that place. My Aunt asked us what we wanted to eat, my cousin told her hamburgers. I interjected that I didn't eat meat. My Aunt said today I was going to eat a hamburger. She handed me my hamburger and I consumed that huge thing in three bites. When we returned back to my parents, my Aunt told my Mom and Dad to start feeding me meat as I was craving it and obviously was missing eating it. There came a time when my parents changed their religious convictions and we started to consume meat again.
Everything in moderation right? That goes with adult beverages as well. There was a time when I used to drink myself senseless and there is biblical scriptures that speak of such things. It's true, I did act foolish and it got me into some predicaments. Later in life, because of my autoimmune diseases, I quit drinking alcohol entirely. In fact, there came in time when I really had to start eating right in order to get my body back on track health wise. I still struggle with carrying extra pounds. It took many, many, many years to shut off the voice of body shaming myself. I am imperfect and wonderfully made by God!!
I would like to point out that some of society really has adopted the idea a fat shaming people. I had a mother in law who once told me not to worry about the tub in one of the bathrooms on the upper floor flexing as it wouldn't be because of my weight and I wouldn't fall through the floor. No one knows the back stories behind these people and why they have this weight. I am so glad my own children watched my struggles and they are empathetic and are shall I say "fat" blind. Their friends have been so diverse and there has been no prejudice to who they chose as friends and chose to love. When my kids were younger and I had lost a lot of weight, they mentioned to me how they missed how cushy I used to be -- imagine that. Be kind to all people, no matter their differences.
"There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man." Mark 7:15 (NKJV)
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